I went to get out my BT1 progress report and compared it to my BT2 one. Apart from GP, all my grades have stayed exactly the same, including the marks themselves. The troubling thing is that while everything's the same, my strength relative to the cohort has gone down. In every subject my percentile is down, some rather substantially. It confirms only something I already knew since the results came back. Stagnation. It is that most insidious of perils. While I'm doing just enough to stay just there, everyone else is forging ahead. I suppose such little reminders are neccessary to keep me motivated. Ah well...
In other news, something happened today that made me feel rather uneasy about myself. I wonder if this society we live in makes us less human as the days go by. I realise that I'm a terrible comforter. I can listen, offer a few words of advice if they're appropriate, but in most situations I simply don't know what to do. I dislike giving cliches, and when I do offer advice it must happen in a calm rational atmosphere where the person in question is calm too, not in hysterics or tears. I absolutely have no idea what to do about tears. I think I'm too rational at times. It's not necessarily a good thing. I mean that I need to operate analytically/logically. Which explains why I'm not very good at handling emotional situations. They are never very rational, and they usually throw me off balance. Hmm, guess I need to get...more in touch with my emotions? urgh, that sounded a bit, um, gay. But there, it's a choice between humanity or robotics.
I also just realised how fortunate I am to be able to witness fireworks from the comfort of my home. I guess year after year of the same thing kind of wears off the thrill. I begin to take things for granted. But, it is still a sight, and this year I've had the pleasure of watching the whole Fireworks Festival without leaving home. One of the reasons why my father calls this his mansion in the sky, haha.
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